How to become a man: 5 main stages of mental development

The life of every man is a heroic path, which he begins as a little boy and can end as a mature man who realizes his integrity and value. On this path, every man must go through 5 main stages of the development of the psyche.

Stage 1. Getting rid of the mother complex

I think that there is not a single son who, becoming a man, would not break off relations with his mother for a while. Staying with her, the son will never get rid of the maternal complex. The son needs to listen to his own voice and let it be louder than the mother's. Often the mother does everything to keep him. For example, it instills the idea of ​​devotion to oneself, but if this idea takes possession of the son completely, everything will end up with the masculine being seriously affected.

A future man should avoid this and leave his mother, even if at some point such an act seems like a betrayal. The mother must endure this pain. However, later the son may return to establish a relationship with his mother on a completely different level. But this will happen only after the son independently gains independence and learns to establish emotional relationships with peers.

Often the mother complex is strongly supported by the mother, who does not understand what it means to be just a woman, a person, because she never felt like that - only a mother. For her, taking off the role means psychological death, so she clings to her son with all her might as the only meaning of life. In such a situation, for the son, getting rid of the maternal complex becomes a fundamental task, without the solution of which it is impossible for his full development as a man.

Stage 2. Mastering your aggression

This is the time of the transformation of a teenager into a man. Aggression, the power of instinct, a huge male energy awakening in a boy's soul should strengthen his ego. In the future, this energy will be required along the entire path of formation, therefore it is so important to learn how to use it correctly. If a man is not particularly reflective, he will spill this energy all his life, showing a teenage desire to compete in everything he does.

Another option for mishandling aggression is suppressing it. This often happens under the influence of maternal attitudes about the inadmissibility of a man's manifestation of aggression.

For a boy to become a man, he must be able to master his own aggression. He cannot become a man without understanding what it means to be aggressive, but it must be aggression controlled in accordance with his conscious attitude. If he is ruled by his own rage and desire for violence, this can destroy him. Therefore, each boy on his way to a mature man must learn to control his aggression, the desire for violence and be able to integrate this formidable masculine part into a holistic, self-aware personality.

A bold look at your aggressive part, not clouded by other people's attitudes, allows you to recognize its negative, potentially destructive part. The ego of the young man is faced with the need to become strong enough to cope with his own rage and consciously use the energy contained in it to overcome obstacles that stand in the way of achieving goals.

The first battle that the boy must endure is an internal battle with his own shadow, in which suppressed aggression and potential strength are concentrated. At the same time, very few boys manage to win only in an internal duel. Strengthening the masculine principle often requires the presence and overcoming of external obstacles that mobilize will and affirm identity.

Stage 3. Finding Your Own Image of Masculinity

The masculinity that the boy shows at the beginning of his journey is transferred to him from his father. Wanting to be like a man, the son tries to act like a father, but a pitiful imitation comes out. At this stage, the formation of their own conscious attitude to masculinity, which differs from the paternal one, takes place. Only in this case will the boy be able to appropriate masculinity for himself, which will constantly accompany him and serve as a support throughout his life. To successfully complete this stage, you may need another father, for example, a spiritual or godfather.

The essence of this stage is receiving a blessing for one's own life from a father, liberation from the influence of a father or brother. As he grows up, a young man should leave the family, entering into a struggle for his freedom with each member of his own family or with someone else, if this someone replaces his father or brother in such a fight.

If a man has a sudden conflict at work, it often indicates that there is still an emotionally strained relationship with his father or brother, despite the fact that adolescence is far behind.

Stage 4. Establishing contact with the inner woman

Few men are sufficiently aware of the inner feminine component of their soul, even less in contact with her. Jung called this sensual part of the male soul "anima." A man's desire for inner development helps him to recognize his anima, but besides this, a man should learn not to succumb to his mood and emotional state and not to indulge his own whims.

The main step at this stage is to learn how to make contact with the anima, to see in her an inner companion woman, a comrade woman who will walk hand in hand with a man and warm life. A man has only two options: either he rejects his femininity, and this rejection turns against him in the form of attacks of bad mood or temptations inaccessible to him, or accepts it and establishes a relationship with the female life principle, and this fills his life with warmth and strength. If a man is in harmony with his inner woman, he has no problems communicating with women.

Stage 5. Realizing your own meaning in life

The stage at which a man already has the necessary resources and strength to answer the main question of his life. This is a moment of realizing that a man is unique and alone in his quest. An energetic man stops active activity in the outside world and for a while withdraws into himself. This is the time of reaching the maturity of the male psyche.

A man is ready to accept his loneliness, to which he is doomed to travel in search of an answer about the meaning of life. He is able to give up the obsessive conviction that this meaning lies only in his personal happiness.